Feeling Benched? Same.
Share
Feeling Benched? Same.
By Lara De Wet
When Kiwis were thrust into our most recent lockdown - side note: Isn’t it weird that “lockdown” is now part of our everyday vernacular? – my mindset was initially one of, Okay. We know the drill. Let’s get this done. 18 months into a pandemic, our brains were already well-adjusted to seeing friends over FaceTime and colleagues over Zoom. We were long past the point of judging those who stayed in pajamas all day or when a 5pm drink was poured at 3pm. I dusted off the banana loaf tin and Bumble account and thought, I’ve got this.
But very quickly it all started to feel a lot heavier than other lockdowns. The momentum faded. I stopped planning my days around the 1pm announcements and eventually stopped listening altogether (sorry, Bloomfield). Because the truth is, my life feels like it’s on hold right now. Or worse, like it’s passing me by altogether. You know that saying, “If a tree falls in the woods and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?”. I’ve been wrestling with, If there’s no one around to witness me “be”, am I really “being”? These thoughts are confronting and it’s exhausting trying to stand tall against them. I miss community. I miss people I don’t even know! I miss the promise that a new day might bring a new introduction. And it doesn’t matter where you measure on the introverted/extroverted scale, we all crave community. We all just want someone to witness us being.
And therein lies the good news! In our time of collective suffering, we’ve all woken up to the “collective” part. That we’re actually alone, together. We’re not just taking care of ourselves, but we’ve developed a new awareness and concern for others. Despite our capacity being stretched and possibly torn, we’ve started reaching out and checking in. No longer assuming someone is fine, but instead asking, “How are you really?”. I honestly, truly, believe we care more – and what a freaking game changer that is going to be when we eventually get back out on the field! So let’s take this time to rest and hydrate. To tend to our injuries check in on our team mates. Because, even from the bench, we’re still in the game.